RE: Again have to apologize for not answering sooner. There is an ominous feel to all this smoke and a red sun. After all the lightening we had Tuesday night I'm pleasantly surprised there aren't more fires. We have to give it a few days. Lightening can live underground in tree roots for quite a while. I'm actually teaching myself to use a new little tractor. My ox, Hercules, went down a few months ago and I had to shoot him. He was a fine animal and I miss him. Anyway, I could train a new ox if my legs held out- preferably another Brown Swiss - but we'd be another 2 years before I could really count on hauling large loads and doing much intricate work. I'm already older than dirt. Meanwhile the firewood stack grows, the garden is producing and I have too many sheep.
Sorry about the recliner control problem. At least you'll be able to sleep better from here on out.
#1 This is not an insurmountable problem. The shrooms are very popular. People are also aware of the micro-dosing approach. I am certainly not cutting edge when I suggest this for you. Many folks know much more about it than I do. I have just seen it help some people who were bad off and improved markedly. Do some asking around if you are interested. If you find no leads there are other avenues.
#2 It's really not about being high. Really. The goal is emotional resilience. If you feel buzzed or wiggly or get the tingles you have taken a little too much. You should not be aware at all of any psychedelic reaction. (unless that is your goal) You start with tiny doses to make sure you can digest it. This will not interfere with your drinkin'. You may decide to drink a little less - or maybe not. I take a dram now and again and used to be in the saloon business back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. You're old enough to drink if you want to.
M-dosing doesn't fuzz you out of reality or zombify you into a Stepford geezer. It is not a magic fix for your situation and it is not an irrelevant bandaid. If you want to spend less of your time and energy feeling miserable then I suggest it. If you want to find some things to focus on that bring you satisfaction and meaning, you must avoid falling into the black pit. The good stuff doesn't live down there. Micro-dosing should help with this. In no way would I expect m-dosing to alter your cuddly teddy bear personality.
Paul Stamets ( I believe he is the world's foremost mycologist) has some good work on micro-dosing. Lex Friedman has some really good interviews with academics and clinicians who study and use psychedelics in treating people.
#3 and #4 I get this feeling of frustration. I share much of it especially the degree to which people are pegging the oblivious meter. But, you are the guy who wants to save everyone he can. There is much biblical stuff about people not heeding the prophets. Being a prophet of impending doom has never been a path to easy living.
My own opinion is that if this is what you are supposed to do, if this is your path, then this is no time to quit. If you are a person who just must play music- you play. The size of the audience doesn't matter you just play. There is no disgrace in playing the old favorites with a new twist or riff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNp1kqnRw-U&list=TLPQMDUwODIwMjGU4BGv3WQs7g&index=4There are plenty of dilettante doomers out there. Many of them do doom and collapse for profit. Folks that are trying to scare you just enough to sell you something. You, however, are the Doyen Of Doom, evolved beyond the profit motive. Go with it. ( I almost said run with it. That would have been in poor taste.)
Having said that, it may be that you decide to move on to something else. But moving on to perpetual misery should not be an option. I think the quickest and best way (for now) to transcend the feculence of your situation is to find that project or pastime that you can generate some passion for.
Give this guy a few minutes of your time. He's also missing a leg.
Not knowing anything about streaming I can't comment with any degree of helpfulness on K-Dog's suggestion. But I do have this image of RE as Reginald Eversham in a red velvet smoking jacket with the background of a well-to-do Englishman's library complete with roaring fire. A brandy snifter, perhaps a cigar and doom. Lots of doom.
I must go feed the critters and tighten things up for the night. I could go on for pages about the stress of this drought and heat on the critters and trees. I won't put you through that.
By the way, RE, do you ever go fishing? I know you are more of a tech guy, but I was wondering if there is a wheelchair accessible fishing dock for the public anywhere close by. You could catch dinner. Just a thought.